Dear Bella,
I am missing you sooooooooo much. I know you are ok and you are looking down on me. I haven’t cried much in a while when I think about you, sometimes I feel that that means I don’t miss you. I know that is the world wanting me to feel guilt. I miss and love you more than words can explain. It’s almost your birthday, and I can’t stop thinking about how we should be preparing for our child’s first birthday. Yesterday we went to a little boys first birthday and I was jealous of the parents. They were so happy, and enjoying how he is growing. All the family was there with gifts, and to celebrate. I know you are up in heaven, but it just doesn’t feel the same. We went to you grave the other day and put some new Christmas flowers there. Roz picked out an ornament to hang on the flowers too. She loves Penguins, and so do I, so it’s a Penguin. She also wanted to give you a Candy Cane. Roz loves them, and she thought you would like it too. Haha. Roz really loves you too Bella. She always talks to you when we go visit your grave. This time she wanted to sing you a song. She sang you Mary had a Little Lamb. It sounded pretty good and I’m sure you could hear it. We have plans to celebrate you next weekend, but I’m not sure what we are doing. I know God gave you to us for a reason, but it is very hard to see the positive side all the time. I hope God took all your pain away while you were in Mommy’s belly. I can still see you very vividly in my memories. To me, you looked beautiful and perfect. I have nothing but great memories of our time together, it was very special for me. Mommy got to carry you and feel your beating heart, but I didn’t have that close side with you. I wish I read more to you, I wish I talked to you more, I wish I sang to you more. If I could do it again, I would cherish every second I had while you were with us. I want to read my poem to you again.

Too Beautiful
My sweet Isabella
God made you Too Beautiful
Too Beautiful for this World
I wish I had more words
but we have no words to describe
Perfect, Delicate, Precious
no words come close
You are Too Beautiful
I am your Daddy
You don’t know me by heartbeat
but You do by sound
I prayed for you to have ears
Too Beautiful for this World
You were made only for Heaven
down here without you
I dream of the day
the day I see you at the Gate
the Gate of Heaven because
You are Too Beautiful

I love you baby. I will never forget you or forget the time we had together. Thank you for coming into my life. You have forever changed me and I know that was Gods plan. I am now a better Dad to Roz. We all miss you.