I have a very interesting, humbling, and to me, mind blowing story I would like to share. I will start off with a few questions. Can you hear God tell you things, or answer your prayers? That is a big question in a believers life, will I hear God? My story is from this past Friday and Saturday.
Most know I used to race motocross and went through a bad few years, 2007 breaking my right foot, 2008 and 2009 struggling with it not healed properly, actually walking with a cane for almost 2 years, winter 2009 getting it fused (plate and 4 screws). Then spring 2010 breaking the plate, and pulling the screws partially out and just having to walk on it and take the pain from May to December. I couldn’t get it fixed because my RC schedule was too busy. December 2010 I finally saw a great sports doctor and got it all fixed up right. Bone graph off my hip, 2 plates, 8 screws, 1 bone shaved down during surgery, 1 bone shaved down while I was awake in the doctors office (wild experience), and finally I was on my way to walking normal. In 2012 I decided to sell all my dirtbike stuff, bike, gear, everything.
My friend Jordan has been getting me all hyped up to ride a little but again. I hadn’t ridden since 2012 and he got me out on a bike earlier this year. It was fun and I felt fine. My foot is healed up good and I’m in the best shape of my life with my new cycling hobby. Here is where my story truly begins. Last week Jordan offered me a bike to race on Saturday. It was just a local night race at a track I’ve raced at in the past. I was all into the thought of racing, and it sounded fun to mix it up and go ride dirtbikes again, and to actually do a start and race. I told Megan I was thinking about it and she wasn’t as excited as I was. That’s totally understandable, but me being me, I started to push the guilt towards her a little and she gave in and said I could race. She didn’t want to tell me I couldn’t, but she wasn’t excited that I might. Her concern got me thinking about it and questioning if I should or shouldn’t. I battle with this thought about how to live life. I am a total adrenalin junkie to the highest degree. I feel that I have matured a lot in the past two to three years, and I can see and recognize my limits. I do enjoy to push those limits and ride that edge though. My battle is being safe, but trying to stay me. I feel like I have been loosing a little bit of me lately. I want to be safe and be here for my family and support them, but at the same time, I can’t live in a bubble. We could all die today or tomorrow, we can’t control what happens to us.
Ok, so I was having second thoughts and trying to figure out what I should do. I’ve been getting in some road bike rides and my knees have been a little sore. Some friends were riding Friday evening and I was gonna use that ride as a little test to see how I was feeling. If I was going to race on Saturday, I want to feel strong and healthy, it’s been 5 years since I’ve raced a dirtbike. Right at the start of our ride my knees were hurting, I kept hoping they were going to loosen up, but after 42 miles, they were killing me. I was pretty ticked that my body was sore and what that meant. That night I even took a hot bath to try to loosen up my muscles, all I wanted was for my body to feel strong so I could race. That night I thought, “I’ll give this to God and see what he says.” That night I prayed to God a very specific prayer. “God, if you are ok with me racing tomorrow, allow my body to be strong and healthy when I wake up. God, if you are not ok with me racing tomorrow, make my body very sore and I will know that that is your sign to me.”
Man….I really wanted to wake up feeling great, but I didn’t. I was pretty sore and just having some muscle cramps. We had a morning to early afternoon planned with the family, taking Rosalynn to a butterfly festival. I didn’t tell Megan about my prayer, because I didn’t decide if I was going to race or not. I can’t lie to Megan, and I knew what God was telling me, I just didn’t want to except it. I kept fighting it in my mind, but I was getting more sore by the hour. At lunch I was barely able to keep it together, I had extreme muscle cramps in my elbows, shoulders, knees, was getting a migraine headache, and my neck was really stiff and sore. My pain tolerance is extremely high and I was hurting!!!! Finally I had to give in, and during our lunch break I told Megan about my prayer and my pain, I was also trying to hide I was in pain to Megan, because my mind still wanted to race. I decided to stop fighting it and said I won’t race. It felt good to finally make a decision and get that weight off of me. Our day went on and around 4pm I realized that most of my pain had gone away. I hadn’t taken any pain medicine or anything, and I was feeling much better. By 8pm I had zero muscle cramps, no headache, no sore neck, no real body pain at all. I told Megan and both of our minds were totally blown. Later that night I talked to Jordan and he said the track conditions were terrible and very dangerous. I was glad I didn’t race and maybe I would have crashed if I raced, you never know.
Even now as I type this up, I get chills in my body. Our God is a living, breathing, loving God. He is here for us to ask for guidance, we just have to be willing to listen to hear him. People are all different, we all work differently. Some people get moved by reading certain things in the bible, unfortunately I don’t work that way. I get moved when God actively works in my life and I see it and feel it. I just wanted to share that with you all.
I hope you all had a good weekend. God is good, always God is good.